bucklesup:

my health teacher asked for different ways to prevent pregnancy and i said “do it in the butt” and i got extra credit because no one has ever said that before

blein:

sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS A BUNCH OF LAPTOPS SO HE TOOK THE SUITCASE AND RAN AND I JUST 

wholockian221b:

either i need to start working on getting my driver’s licence or someone needs to be a fucking beauty and drive me to all of my local thrift stores today

onewordtest:

apaisleygirl:

jacewaylaned:

so i started watching the older episodes of doctor who and i’ve got to say, i don’t really like amy. i like clara better. idc what you say.

“the older episodes of doctor who and i’ve got to say, i don’t really like amy.”

“the older episodes of doctor who….i don’t really like amy.”

“the older episodes…amy.”

what